


Don't Deserve You

by gossipsmile327



Category: The 100 (TV), The 100 Series - Kass Morgan
Genre: Bellamy stays behind for Clarke, Canon Universe, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Minor Character Death, Minor Injuries, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-10
Updated: 2018-05-09
Packaged: 2018-12-13 12:45:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 11,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11760168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gossipsmile327/pseuds/gossipsmile327
Summary: 4X13 and then post-canon. Bellamy stays behind when Clarke doesn't get back to the rocket in time. "Bellamy steps forward, wrapping her in a hug while she cries. He can’t stand to see her in pain like this. Even though everyone tells him that his feelings for Clarke are blatantly obvious, he just can’t seem to find the right time to tell her. He holds the back of her head with one hand, while Clarke stretches her arms around him. She feels safe for the moment, until her quiet sobs are replaced by yelling from downstairs." Inspired by the song Don't Deserve You by Plumb.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys so this is my first fic ever so don't judge too hard but constructive criticism is definitely welcome!! The first few chapters will be going through season 4 episode 13, sort of through Clarke and Bellamy's perspective, but stick with me through that to get to post-canon woohoo! Thank you guys so much for reading and I hope you enjoy! xx

“5 years, can you really survive up there?”  
“Raven says we can. As soon as its safe, we'll find a way back down, we will meet again” Bellamy tells Octavia confidently.  
“I’ll be waiting, under the floor, I love you big brother, even if it takes the end of the world for me to say it”  
“I love you too, O.” Bellamy says meaningfully, maybe for the last time, he thinks. He waits for a reply, but then, static.  
“O? Are you there?? No, no, come on!” Bellamy yells, but the signals gone. 

All of a sudden Clarke appears at the door. When Bellamy sees her, his heart breaks realizing she won’t get to talk to Abby. 

Clarke walks in, “Hey, do they have her?”  
A pause of silence, Bellamy’s face drops.  
“Bellamy?”  
He speaks up, “The radio’s dead, you won’t get to say goodbye to your mom, I’m so sorry”

He sees her face break, and a small sob escapes from her lips. She wasn’t prepared for this; she wasn’t prepared not to be able to speak to her mom for the last time for possibly 5 years. Maybe longer, she thinks. She’s not ignoring the fact that her exposure to radiation earlier is taking its toll. 

Bellamy steps forward, wrapping her in a hug while she cries. He can’t stand to see her in pain like this. Even though everyone tells him that his feelings for Clarke are blatantly obvious, he just can’t seem to find the right time to tell her. He holds the back of her head with one hand, while Clarke stretches her arms around him. She feels safe for the moment, until her quiet sobs are replaced by yelling from downstairs.

“Clarke, Bellamy, get down here!”

Clarke and Bellamy turn to head back down as she wipes away her tears and puts back on her brave face. Bellamy’s quick nod and supportive smile gives her all the strength she could ever need. 

Downstairs the team is watching the radiation start to roll over Polis, covering the bunker beneath the city. Clarke thinks of her mother again, hoping the bunker holds up and that she is safe. Thinking of Octavia, Bellamy hides his face in his hand as the screen goes dark.

Raven speaks up, “The wave is accelerating, and it’s only 210 miles from Polis to the Island”  
Bellamy and Clarke look at each other, she can see the worry in his face.  
“We need to be off the ground at least 20 minutes before it hits, that leaves 90 min to get everything done, it’s impossible” Raven says as she shakes her head, then explains everything they need to do, adding in multiple ways their plan could go wrong: meaning death for all of them. 

“You suck at talking people into things you know that right?” Murphy states plainly. 

“Anyone here still need to be talked into this?” Bellamy questions.  
He gets everyone’s attention, and then their heads shake no, knowing it’s their only chance of survival.  
“So now that we know the many ways we might die today, why don’t you tell us what we need to do to live?” he says looking to Raven.

Clarke turns her head to him and gives him a small smile. He can’t help but smile back, even if it is his stupid little half-smile that Clarke still finds as attractive as she did on the first day the 100 landed.


	2. Chapter 2

“So lets go over this again,” Clarke calls to Bellamy, not sure if he’s even listening.  
“I’m thinking two months until the algae farm produces enough to feed us. If we ration the food we take up we should have enough to last us until then.” She looks up at him, but he’s over by the edge of the balcony looking down at the rocket and the two grounders helping Raven get it ready.

“Grounders in space… it’s an oxymoron” he says sarcastically.  
“Survivals a team sport, especially up there, it’s the only choice,” she states plainly, but then continues, “Only choice, also an oxymoron by the way”. They both laugh at that. 

“So is cold sweat” Bellamy mentions as he moves her wet hair out of her face. He’s concerned about her, after her exposure. She’s not looking great, and he can’t lose her. He needs her with him for the next five or how many ever years they’ll be up there in space. “Still holding out hope for that night-blood solution.” He encourages her, although it might be more for himself. 

“There is no solution." She looks discouraged.  
“Our fight is not over.” Bellamy states clearly. And he means it. 

“My mom had a vision of me dying…” Clarke wants Bellamy to be prepared. She’s not sure what the two of them are exactly, but Clarke loves Bellamy, she knows that. She also knows that even if Bellamy doesn’t feel the same, they’re still best friends, and the only reason they’re still alive is because of each other. 

“If anything happens to me,” she continues, but is cut off by Bellamy,  
“Nothing is happening to you!” He needs her to know that he will do anything for her, he will do anything to make sure she stays alive. 

“Come on, let’s run these water numbers again,” he says as he tries to change the subject. He can’t think about losing Clarke right now. 

“Please Bellamy, I need you to hear this,” Clarke tries again...  
“We’ve been though a lot together, you and I. I didn’t like you at first and that’s no secret, but even then every stupid thing you did, it was to protect your sister. She didn’t always see that but I did. You have such a big heart Bellamy,”

“Clarke,” he questions, not sure where this is headed. 

She continues, “People follow you, you inspire them because of this,” she says as she places her hand over his heart. He hopes she can’t feel it about to beat out of his chest. 

“But the only way to make sure we survive this is if you use this to,” Clarke points to Bellamy’s head, and he wrinkles his eyebrows together knowing what she’s doing.

“I’ve got you for that.” He states as he tries to keep his composure. 

“What if I don’t make it?” She says. And there it is. He wants to kiss her and tell her that she’s going to be fine. She can’t leave him. Not now. But just as he gets up the courage, a huge explosion comes from down near the rocket. 

Clarke turns and takes off down the stairs, and Bellamy follows close behind.  
When they get to the rocket Raven is coughing and cursing as she goes through the computer to see what was damaged. 

“Communications offline, damage beyond repair.” The robot voice calls out. 

Clarke and Bellamy, both relieved to find out it's only the communications damaged, are both confused when Raven curses and marches down the ladder of the rocket. 

“Raven, explain.” Bellamy pleads. 

Raven takes a deep breath and then explains the problem. “There’s no power on the ring. Without communications I can’t turn the power on, we won’t be able to get inside.”

Clarke and Bellamy look toward the other, concern on their faces. 

Clarke speaks up, “You’ve solved bigger problems than this Raven.”

“I’m not smart enough for this one Clarke…” Raven says defeated. 

Clarke looks to Bellamy again, pleading with him through her eyes to help. 

Bellamy thinks for a moment. “Raven, you can do this. How many times have you saved our asses before?”

“Too many to count” 

Bellamy smiles, “Damn right, so you can do it again, we all believe in you.”

A moment passes, then Raven’s face lights up.

“The satellite tower. You two,” pointing at Bellamy and Clarke “helmets on, you’re coming with me.”


	3. Chapter 3

Clarke and Bellamy quicken their pace to keep up with Raven. They’re determined to get this done quickly and correctly. 

“The tower’s less than a mile away” Raven tells them, then continues, “One more time: All you have to do is plug this tablet into the junction box at the base of the tower. Once the tablet is connected the dish will align itself with the ark, then the tablet will flash green, that’s how you know its locked on. Once a button appears that says send, hit send. Any questions?”

Before they could even say no, Murphy stumbles out of the woods and falls to the ground in front of them, and Monty is no where to be seen. 

“Murphy! Are you ok??” Bellamy yells.  
Murphy responds, “Yeah, yeah I’m fine, but we need to go back, we need to get Monty.” 

Bellamy shakes his head ok and turns around to Raven. “Go on, the tower is a one person job, Clarke can handle it.” She says. 

Bellamy turns to leave with Murphy when Clarke calls to him.  
“Bellamy,”  
“Clarke if this is one of those times that you tell me to use my head…”  
“No, I was just gonna say, hurry.” Clarke pleads.  
“You too.” Bellamy responds. 

Neither of them wants to leave the other, but they’re both confident in the other getting back to the lab in time. 

“You need to leave the tower with ten minutes left on your watch in order to get back before we leave.” Raven tells Clarke.  
Clarke’s scared, but she has to do this. “Any advice?” she asks right before turning to leave.  
“Yeah,” Raven says with a worried face, “run fast.”

***

Clarke finally reaches the tower with little over eleven minutes left on her watch. ‘Can I do this in one minute??’ she thinks to herself worried.  
She’s out of breath and every muscle in her body hurts, but somehow she pulls the tablet out of her bag and is able to set everything up within 30 seconds.  
She connects the tablet, but then

DISH NOT ALIGNED 

“No,” Clarke breathes,  
“What did I do wrong?!” 

“Raven. Raven come in, something went wrong, its not working.” Clarke says into the radio. She's shaking now, not knowing if this is going to work. She finds the site safety rules on the inside of the box, only to read the last words she wanted to find.

“Manual operation, you’ve got to be kidding me.” How is she going to do this?

“Damn it” she yells, the satellite would have to be manually aligned.  
Clarke looked at her watch.  
10:00  
She would never make it back in time.

“Raven,” Clarke says quietly into the radio, then a breath, “Bellamy. If you can hear me, don’t wait.”

No matter what, she had to do this, she had to make sure everyone was able to get to the ark so they would be safe. She had to make sure Bellamy would be safe. 

She looked back toward the lab one more time, “I’ll miss you” she cries out, to one person in particular, to her Bellamy.  
Then she climbed, mumbling quietly “My fight is over”.

***

Murphy and Bellamy run toward the rocket with Monty, sitting him down so Harper could help him.

Bellamy looks around the lab frantically, “Clarkes not back yet?” he asks Raven with worried eyes.

“No she should be on her way, we’ll wait as long as we can” Raven says, understanding Bellamy’s pain.

But Bellamy’s heart is pounding out of his chest, what if she’s in trouble? What if she doesn’t make it back in time? What the hell is he going to do without her?

After five minutes of pacing around the lab, he walks toward the rocket hating himself for knowing he might have to leave her.  
Right before climbing up the ladder he turns to face the door.  
“Come on Clarke.” He whispers, hoping somehow that she will fly through the door at any second. But she doesn’t come.

“Bellamy!” Raven calls out to him.

“I know Raven!” Bellamy screams back at her, he knows.

“It’s now or never.” And Raven’s heart is breaking for Bellamy, but they have to leave. Now. 

But he doesn’t come. 

He walks back toward the door, toward the radiation.

“What are you doing!?” Murphy yells out at him.

‘I have to stay.’ Bellamy realizes. His eyes say everything he isn’t. A tear slips from one slowly, and he turns to wipe it away. 

“She might be alive, she might come back here, and what if I’m not here, what is she going to do??” He yells towards his team in the rocket. 

He closes his eyes and drops his head, quietly he says, “I have to stay.” 

Raven looks at him and knows there’s no convincing him otherwise, and they’re out of time.

“May we meet again.” She stutters.  
He nods, and the rocket door closes.


	4. Chapter 4

The tower is wet and slippery, but Clarke grips on tight and continues climbing up. She’s making progress until her left foot slips; Clarke suddenly swings to her right, holding on to the tower with only her right arm now. Behind her she sees Praimfaya roaring toward her in the distance. She’s never seen anything so scary in her life. She turns back toward the ladder, regaining her grip while trying to calm her breathing. Then she continues to climb.

When she’s almost to the top of the tower, she feels the ground shake beneath her, and then, in the distance, she sees the rocket. ‘At least they got it off the ground’ she thinks to herself, ignoring the pain inside her heart that reminds her she won’t see her friends or Bellamy again. But seeing the rocket also gives her the motivation she needs to climb even faster, and get this done so her team can get inside the ark. 

Once on top of the tower, the wind has gained speed. Clarke has trouble keeping her balance but manages to hold onto the railings. She opens the pack and pulls out the tablet, connecting it to the tower.

DISH NOT ALIGNED

“Come on… turn” she pleads.

MANUAL OVERRIDE RECOMMENDED

Clarke reaches up to the dish and pulls back on it as hard as she can. She looks down at the tablet but it still flashes red. She reaches back up to the dish and pushes it so it was father down than when she got there. Still red. She finally grabs the dish and pulls it back with all the strength she has left, and then she hears it…

DISH ALIGNED 

Clarke releases a relieved “YES!” before jumping back down to the platform. The tablet shows that the signal is being sent but then suddenly dies. “No,” she breathes out. She can only hope that the signal went through, but when she turns around Praimfaya is getting even closer and if she has any chance of surviving she needs to get down as fast as possible. 

When she hops down from the last bar on the tower she turns and runs as fast as she can, using all the energy she has left. She can see the lab in the distance when her foot catches on a root and she falls to the ground. When she looks up she sees a giant hole in her mask, and her face starts burning with pain. All she can do is cover the hole with her hand and try to get back into the lab. 

She can barely see anymore as she stumbles through the lab door and pulls the outer door shut behind her. She then runs to get inside the inner part of the lab. As she turns the last corner she slips, falling to the ground. She can barely breathe, much less see, and then she’s spitting up blood. 

 

***

 

‘I’m going to die here’ she thinks, and then she starts to cry. She thought she was ok with dying, but she’s scared, and she’s alone. 

When she feels hands on her back she thinks she’s hallucinating, or possibly already dead, but then she hears his voice. 

“Clarke, Clarke! Stay with me ok. I’m gonna help you.”

“Bellamy?” she chokes out. She wants to ask him how he’s here, if he’s even real, but she’s in too much pain and her brain can’t seem to string together any words. 

“Clarke, come on.” Bellamy’s turning her on her side so she doesn’t get choked on the blood. He searches his mind trying to think of anyway to help her, but her face is covered in blisters and it’s just all too much for him. He carefully picks her up and places her on the nearest table. He pulls out the face piece for his oxygen and tells Clarke to try and breathe in. She takes about two breaths but then pushes it away. 

“You… need it… not me.” She breathes out. 

The room starts to shake around them and all the electronics go black.   
“Were not gonna die here Clarke, you hear me.” 

Then he remembers something. The house. Ally’s mansion. There were large oxygen tanks below the house; Ally had stored them away to use during a nuclear attack. Raven had told him about them before, but with eight people living there the tanks of oxygen would have only lasted them half a year at most. But with only two people, there’s a good chance that the oxygen could last them for possibly two years. They’d have to figure out a more long-term solution eventually, if they survived that long, but Bellamy knew that he needed to get them there as soon as possible if he and Clarke had any chance of surviving today. 

There’s only one problem, how the hell is he going to get them to the mansion with all the radiation and fire outside, he doesn’t even know if his suit would hold up if he took one step outside of the lab. Oh and add on to that the fact that he only has about 30 minutes of air left in his suit, and without any oxygen supply the lab is no longer safe to be in without his suit on, and who knows how long the door would hold up, the only thing keeping most of the radiation out. 

‘Could this situation be anymore fucked up’ he thinks to himself.

He has to think fast, they’re both running out of time. 

“Bellamy, Bellamy are you there?” Ravens words are barely acknowledgeable through all the static, but Bellamy can hear her voice and he races to the radio. 

“Raven? Thank God you found a radio. You guys good?” 

“Were good, we finally got the oxygen working, I’m sure we’re doing a hell of a lot better than you are.” She says with a hint of concern in her voice. 

“Raven, Clarke is here, she made it back to the lab but she’s in really bad shape. I need to get us to Ally’s mansion. It’s the only place I know to go. But I need help, I don’t know how the fuck to get there without being burnt up as soon as I open that door.” Bellamy’s out of breath by the time he gets it all out, and realizing his and Clarke’s situation, he finally looses it. 

“Ok, ok calm down. We’ll figure this out. There’s a garage on the bottom level, I saw a rover in there when I was looking for supplies, but I have no idea if it even runs. If you can get it working though it might just hold up in the radiation and get you to the house.” She explains. 

“Ok I’m headed down there now.” He tells her, and then goes back to Clarke. 

She calls out in pain as he runs back up the stairs. She’s still coughing and has started to shake like she’s cold. 

Bellamy checks her pulse; it’s too fast, dangerously fast. He feels tears coming as he carefully pushes back some of her hair from her forehead. “Don’t give up on me just yet Clarke you hear me.” And then he runs to find the stairs that lead downstairs, carrying the radio with him. 

 

***

 

“Raven I think I found it.” Bellamy says into the radio when he makes it down to the garage. 

He quickly pulls the sheet from the vehicle and opens the door. He searches for the keys and luckily they’re sitting in the passenger seat. But as he cranks the ignition the rover doesn’t start. 

“Can you get it to crank?” Raven asks through the static. 

Bellamy picks the radio back up and goes to the engine. “No, but I can probably figure out what’s wrong with it, just give me some time.”

“I’m sorry to be the bad guy here Bellamy but time is the last thing you have right now. What’s left of your oxygen? Like 25 minutes now?” 

“22 minutes. How far away is the house?” Bellamy asks concerned.

A moment of silence, and then “It’s about a 5 min drive from the lab, can you get the rover running in less than 15 min?”

“Your lack of confidence in me is surprising Raven.” He says as he digs around in the engine. “I think it’s the starter, it needs to be replaced. Please tell me there’s extra parts in this lab somewhere.”

“There should be a closet back next to the door you came through, that’s the only place I would thi t lo…”

“Raven, you’re breaking up, can you hear me?” 

Silence. He’s alone now. He just hopes Raven can fix the signal soon.

He runs back to the door he came in through and finds the closet to the left of it. He pushes everything out of the way looking for what he needs. He thinks back to his time at Arkadia and is thankful Wick took the time to teach him so much about the rovers. All he sees is extra batteries and tires, but no starters. 

“Damn it!” He yells.

He turns, slamming the door behind him when he sees cabinets up on the wall to his right. “Please have what I need.”

He opens the cabinets one by one, and finally when he opens up the third one he sees two extra starters. He grabs one and lets out a huge sigh of relief and runs back to the rover to replace the old part. After, he tries cranking the rover and smiles when he hears the familiar sound of the engine come to life. 

He looks at the gas, just over a quarter of the tank left. He’s not sure how far that will get them, but this was there only hope, and he had to take the risk. 

Bellamy turns the rover off before he makes his way back up to the main level of the lab to get Clarke. He carefully picks her up and carries her gently down the stairs and places her in the passenger seat of the rover, buckling her in. He then grabs the radio, the extra starter, as well as a couple extra batteries and tires just in case. 

He gets into the drivers seat and closes the door, putting the headpiece to his suit back on and cranking the rover again. All he can do now is hope that the rover can make it through the storm outside, and get them safely to the mansion. He looks over at Clarke and squeezes her hand, before pressing the button that opens the garage door. But nothing happens. 

“Shit, the power.” 

There’s no way he could open it manually and make it back to the rover in time without the radiation affecting him. He as no idea if the rover can drive through the door but it’s his only hope right now, so he sits up higher in his seat and presses down on the gas. The rover takes off and slams through the door, shattering it into a thousand pieces. The jolt leaves Clarke screaming in pain as her suit hits her blisters.

“Clarke, you’re ok, ok? I’m gonna get you somewhere safe, just hold on.” Bellamy tries to calm her down. 

“Bellamy?” Clarke cries, finally able to think clearer, “What are you doing here, why aren’t you on the ark?”

There’s silence for a couple seconds as Bellamy swallows down the lump in his throat. 

“I couldn’t leave you… I, I tried to convince myself to go, but, I had to stay to make sure you were ok. You’re gonna be ok.”

“Why are you such an idiot sometimes.” Clarke tries to speak evenly through her pain, but her face shows how much discomfort she’s actually in. “I just wanted you to live, I needed you to be ok; you’re not safe down here.”

“We’re going to be ok,” Bellamy tries to explain but his oxygen is starting to run low and he’s getting a little light headed. 

A few minutes pass, the only noise heard over the roar of the storm outside being Clarke’s occasional cry of pain, while Bellamy continues to speed down the dirt road. 

He barely sees the mansion through all the radiation, but it sits just over one last hill. He tries to focus on driving but his peripheral vision starts to go black. “We’re going to make it.” He says again, softer this time, as the rover rolled up to the mansion.


	5. Chapter 5

As the rover slows to a stop in front of the mansion, Clarke looks over to Bellamy waiting for some kind of instruction, but he’s silent. 

“No, Bellamy wake up!” Clarke croaks out as loud as she can. She reaches over to shake him. When he doesn’t respond she pulls his wrist closer to her face and realizes there’s just a small amount of oxygen left in his suit. It’s enough to keep his heart pumping, but the lack of oxygen to his brain is why he lost consciousness. 

“No, don’t do this to me.” She whispers out, pleading. 

If she can’t figure out how to help him quickly, the lack of oxygen to his brain could have devastating consequences, and after just five minutes he could die. 

She looks out the window of the rover, and although the worst of the fire has passed, there’s still no way they could walk from the vehicle to the door without being affected by the strong levels of radiation outside. 

She closes her eyes and squints her face as she tries to think of how to get them inside. Then a thought comes to her: she should be dead. With the amount of radiation she was exposed to trying to get back to the lab she should have died long before Bellamy got them here. 

“The nightblood. I have nightblood!” She perks up and a small smile comes across her face as she realizes what this means. The radiation will definitely affect Bellamy before she can get him inside, but once they’ve made it she could give him nightblood, which should heal him, as long as the damage isn’t too bad. But she needs to act fast; he’ll die from oxygen deprivation before she can even think about a blood transfusion if she doesn’t get him inside soon. 

She pushes her door open with a grunt before jumping out of her seat, then walks as quickly as she can through her pain to the other side of the rover to pull him out. She carefully pulls him to the ground before picking him up under his arms and half carrying, half dragging him to the door of the house. 

“Come on Bellamy, please fight this.”

She can see his skin start to burn, but that’s not her biggest concern right now. She finally gets the door open and gets them both inside, then slams the door shut behind them. She’s been here before, and remembers exactly where the control room is. But the switch to turn on the emergency oxygen and electricity supply she’ll have to find, and fast. 

She pushes the door open into the control room and starts looking through all the control switches that are up on the wall to her right. They’re clearly labeled, thank God for that. “Ally was crazy but at least she was organized.” Clarke says quietly to herself as she switches on the two switches. There’s a roar around her as the house comes to life. 

But she doesn’t smile just yet, she turns and limps back down the hallway to find Bellamy still slumped over where she left him. She picks him up under the arms once again and drags him to one of the vents in the floor, laying him down next to it. 

“Breathe Bellamy, please breathe.” 

The small gasps of air he was taking before slowly turn into giant inhales as oxygen fills his lungs again. When he finally opens his eyes he starts to cough, and then he screams in pain. 

“Bellamy, you have radiation burns, and it might be affecting your lungs and heart too.” She tells him with the most gentle voice, a tinge of pain in her face. 

“How did we get in here?”

“You got us here.” Clarke tells him as a small smile rises over her face, but it disappears as quickly as it came. “You passed out in the rover. Your oxygen ran out but I got us inside. Just breathe ok.”

Clarke studies his face and body for signs of any long lasting effects the lack of oxygen may have caused, but she can’t do much more, she’ll have to wait until after he recovers from the radiation exposure to ask him some questions. 

Then she speaks up again “I have nightblood, it’s why the radiation only affected me for a little while, and only really hurt my skin. If I can transfer some of my blood to you it could help you get better. You need to help me get you to the med room though, can you walk at all?”

He nods with his eyes closed as he tries to stand, but falls into Clarke’s arms as soon as he lets go of the wall. They both stumble as she helps him down the hallway. She’s still in a lot of pain herself, her blisters haven’t gotten any better and carrying Bellamy to the house only irritated them more, but she’s got bigger problems to worry about now. 

As soon as they open the door to Ally’s old medical room, Clarke helps Bellamy lie down on one of the beds set up in the left corner. Her eyes scan his face and his freckles steal her attention. She’s always had a thing for his freckles, even when he was an arrogant ass. 

She doesn’t mean for the words to be spoken aloud, but she hears her voice anyway; she tries her best to keep her words from shaking “Please don’t leave me Bellamy.”

He looks over to her and uses what’s left of his energy to reach out and squeeze her hand. 

He frowns, and whispers, “I would never leave you. I will never leave you.” 

Her eyes start to burn as she holds off tears, but then she turns away and quickly tries to locate everything she needs for the transfusion. 

She chuckles when she hears him again behind her. “Just make sure I don’t die so I can keep that promise, ok?” 

 

***

 

After finding all the supplies, she cleans off her and Bellamy’s arms with alcohol before sticking in the needle to start draining her blood into the IV bag. It takes around 30 minutes for her to collect a decent amount; she just prays it’s enough to save him. 

She quickly hangs up the IV bag filled with the dark nightblood, and then sticks the IV into Bellamy’s vein. The transfusion should take around 1-2 hours, so she finds a seat next to him and gets lost in thought as she takes him in. 

Clarke doesn’t remember exactly when she fell in love with this boy, it just sort of happened over time. She remembers when she started caring for him: when she realized all the stupid stuff he did was just to protect his sister, and she remembers the relief she felt when she saw him for the first time after Mount Weather. Her love for him feels like it’s just always been there. She’s tried to keep those feelings suppressed though, almost everyone she’s ever loved has died: her dad, Finn, Lexa, she can’t lose Bellamy too. So if she had to pretend those feelings weren’t there, that’s what she would do. But now, looking at him and realizing she could lose him as well, she regrets not telling him; even a small time together would be better than this. He might die today and he’ll never know how much he means to her, how much she loves him, and appreciates him, and how she can’t live without him. 

She doesn’t know if it’s the way Bellamy looks right now, or if it’s just the fact that she lost so much blood, but she starts to get light headed, and a little dizzy, so she lays her head down near Bellamy’s shoulder. It doesn’t take long before the world goes dark around her.


	6. Chapter 6

Bellamy doesn’t know when he fell asleep, but he wakes up to a pinch on the inside of his elbow. He looks down to find an IV in his arm as memories of the day before flood his brain. He pulls out the IV as he looks over his skin; no blisters. He sees blonde in his peripheral vision and turns his head down to the right to see Clarke asleep, bent over with her head resting on the bed. A small smile spreads across his face. 

He hops down from the bed and walks around to where she’s sitting. All her blisters are gone as well, but her face is a little purple, which worries him. He bends down and pushes some of the hair out of her face, quietly saying her name. He doesn’t want to wake her up but he needs to make sure she’s ok. 

“Clarke.” He says again, a little louder this time. She squirms in the seat slowly, but then her head shoots up. 

“Bellamy, are you ok?” She looks worried as her hands come up to his face, smoothing back his hair obviously looking for any blisters.

He chuckles, “Yeah I’m amazing, thanks to you. But are you feeling ok, you look a little purple.”

“Oh yeah, I just lost a lot of blood. I should be better soon enough.” A small smile spreads across her face.

Bellamy’s lips purse into a thin line, “Thank you, for doing that for me, you didn’t have to you know.” 

Clarke looks up to him confused, “Of course I did, you save me I save you, it’s how we both survived down here for so long.” She laughs a little at her statement, it’s out of character, but she blames it on the light-headedness. 

Bellamy nods as he helps her stand to her feet. “Maybe we should find some food.” He suggest as they walk out of the room and make their way down the hallway back toward the front of the house. 

Clarke looks up toward Bellamy as thoughts flood her brain. She wants nothing more than to find out exactly what is running through Bellamy’s head. She has so many questions, so many things she wants to say to him. Her thoughts stay sealed in her mind though, perhaps saving them for a better time, a quieter moment. 

They stumble upon the kitchen and they’re both caught off guard by how exquisite their surroundings are. 

“This certainly beats the smoke house huh.” Bellamy says as his hand runs over the marble countertops.

“Yeah,” Clarke chuckles out. She’s been here before, but never got a chance to take in the craftsmanship of the house. “It’s certainly beautiful.” 

Bellamy crooks his head back toward Clarke, “You hungry?”

Clarke’s still numb from everything that has happened in the last 48 hours, but she nods her head knowing she probably needs to eat. 

As Bellamy starts rummaging though the cabinets looking through all the food stored away, Clarke sits at one of the stools under the countertop. She looks to her right toward the dining table, admiring the designs on the chairs, when she sees something on a shelf behind the table. He eye light up as she jumps off the stool. 

“Whoa, you ok?” Bellamy asks when Clarke stumbles a little. 

“Bellamy, there’s a radio!” She breathes out as she regains her balance. When she gets over to the shelf she picks it up carefully and starts to fiddle with the switches. Nothing happens. 

She asks Bellamy, “You think you can get it to work?” 

“I can take a look at it.” He says looking over toward her, but his mind’s preoccupied warming up the rice and beans he found in one of the cabinets. 

“Mmmm, that smells really good.” Clarke says as she walks back over to the island in the kitchen, radio in hand. She sits back on the stool she left as she turns the radio over, inspecting it. 

“Doesn’t it, I can’t remember the last time I ate real food, it’s been at least a couple of days” His statement comes out more as a question, really unsure of the last time he ate more than a handful of something while busily working on different tasks. 

He scopes some of the food onto two plates, handing one to Clarke, and then leaning on the counter across from her as they eat. 

“Oh my gosh.” Clarke mumbles with a mouthful of food. She didn’t realize how hungry she actually was until now. 

“Mmhmm.” Bellamy hums back as he takes a mouthful of food as well. They both smile, and for the first time in a long time, they both feel safe for a moment. They’re not fighting to survive, for just this moment they can just… be.” 

 

***

 

Later that night they find themselves in one of the smaller dens in the house, a few candles in addition to a lamp in the corner lighting up the room as they read books they discovered above one of the many fireplaces. The only sound is the hum of the generators under the house; it’s peaceful. Clarke is really trying to focus on reading, but something in the back of her mind keeps distracting her, so she slowly lowers her book to her lap and looks up at Bellamy, who is sitting on the other end of the couch, their legs tangled up as they slouch on the armrest. 

“Bellamy?”

“Yeah?” He ask, his nose still in his book, the cover hinting to something of mythology. 

“Can I ask you a question?” Her eyebrows scrunch together as she cautiously leads the conversation toward the subject she’s been too scared to talk about for a long time now. But here they are, stuck in this house together for who knows how long. She needed to clear her mind, level her head. 

Bellamy lowers his book and looks up at the girl sitting in front of him; his heart flutters at how beautiful she looks in the lighting. “Yeah, what is it?” He ask slowly, her facial expression reminding him of their conversation in the lab, when they still thought they were about to go back to space. Just like then, he’s unsure of where her mind is, which is rarely the case with them. 

She starts out, careful of her words, “Can I ask you… Why did you stay behind? Why didn’t you go in the rocket, why did you wait for me?”

Bellamy sighs, he knew she would bring this up sooner or later; he’s actually surprised it took her so long. 

He starts to answer when she speaks up again, “I could have been dead, and you could have died.” 

Bellamy closes his book and puts it on the table, and then looks straight into the green eyes staring at him, “You know I could never leave you. I tried, I really did, but there was no way I could have lived with myself if I got into that rocket not knowing if you were alive or dead. And if I ended up dying waiting for you, that was just gonna have to happen, because I wouldn’t have lasted 2 days up in space without you Clarke. I need you, and you know that.”

The emotion in his eyes and in his voice gives Clarke chills as she takes in his words. She takes in a shaky breath but then gets an overwhelming wave of courage as she sits up to her knees, her book falling to the floor as she climbs over Bellamy’s legs till they’re face to face, and she can feel his breath on her lips. She looks down to his lips, but doesn’t move. Her moment of courage escapes her, but she doesn’t need to move. Bellamy lifts a hand to her jaw before closing the space between them, moving his lips against hers. 

Clarke’s never had a kiss like this; sure she’s kissed plenty of people before. She thought she’d experienced the best it would ever be. But with Bellamy, their kiss is slow, passionate, 6 months of falling in love all in one moment of complete euphoria. 

As Clarke pulls back a smile paints its way across both their faces. Their eyes are still closed as Clarke leans back down and rest her forehead against Bellamy’s. 

“You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do that.” Bellamy whispers as Clarke lifts her head up. She’s sitting on Bellamy’s lap and laughs as she takes in his perfect smile. “You know I love you right?” He asks her as he looks up at the perfect girl in front of him.

Clarke smiles as she moves so she’s lying beside him on the couch, her head resting on his shoulder, a hand on his chest. “Yeah, I love you too.” 

Bellamy covers Clarke’s hand with his own and kisses the top of her head. They stay like that for a while, the sound of acid rain pattering against the metal covering on the windows eventually putting them to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry this chapter took so long to write! I have been so busy with school but I finally got it done for you guys! Now that school is getting busier the chapters might take me longer to write but I'll try to get them up as quickly as I can. Thanks for all the support! xx


	7. Chapter 7

When Bellamy wakes up there’s a burning smell, and he immediately shoots up to a siting position. When he realizes Clarke is gone he quickly gets up and starts to search the house for her.

“Clarke!” He yells, the last thing they need right now is a fire somewhere in the house, especially with the huge oxygen tanks under the house. It’s a recipe for an explosion. 

“In here!” He hears from the other side of the house. Bellamy makes his way to the kitchen, the burning smell getting worse, only to find Clarke covered in pancake batter with a pile of burnt pancakes beside the stove top. 

When Clarke turns toward him with a pout on her lips, Bellamy tries to hide his smile but ends up busting out in laughter.

“Haha stoppp!” Clarke whines as Bellamy makes his way over to her and her pile of burnt pancakes. 

“What happened here?” He asks her in a sarcastic voice, which only makes Clarke laugh more. 

“I was gonna surprise you with breakfast, but, I’ve never been the best cook.”

“Not much practice on the Arc huh?” Bellamy asks her, she shakes her head and shrugs her shoulders. “Can I take over?” He suggest, with a smug smile on his face. 

Clarke sighs and surrenders her spatula. Bellamy takes it and flips it in his hand, which earns a laugh along with an eye roll from Clarke. “Show off.” She mumbles as she walks away to clean up, but Bellamy blocks her from leaving and leans down giving her a quick kiss. “Good morning.” He says smiling, obviously very pleased with himself. 

“Good morning,” Clarke replies as she smiles up at his morning hair. “I’m gonna go clean up.”

“Ok, I’ll call you when these are ready.” 

Clarke makes her way to one of the bedrooms upstairs, and enters the bathroom attached. As she starts to wipe away the pancake mix splattered on her face, her thoughts travel to the night before. She smiles as her fingers brush over her lips, remembering the sweet taste of Bellamy’s lips on hers. She looks into the mirror and realizes she hasn’t had a proper shower since the last time she was here with her mom. She makes a mental note to give herself some alone time later today. She starts searching the cabinets for a toothbrush when she hears Bellamy calling her from downstairs. She gives up on the search and heads down the stairs. 

“Wow it smells amazing in here.” She says as she enters the kitchen. 

Bellamy turns around with a plate of pancakes in his hand smiling. “The sweet smell of un-burnt breakfast goodness!” He says as he places the plate in front of her. 

She laughs as she pours syrup on top and then takes her first bite. “Oh my gosh, this is so much better than anything we ever had on the Arc.” 

“Welcome to Earth.” Bellamy says smiling. 

“Do you remember when we first landed?” Clarke smiles remembering how different they were then. 

“Yeah, I remember I hated you. You were too bossy for your own good.” Bellamy laughs, getting a glare from Clarke. 

“Yeah, and you were the ass who thought you knew everything.” Clarke smiles at him as he nods in agreement, pursing his lips together. 

“Yeah, I was kind of a jerk back then. But it didn’t take you long to realize how awesome I was.” They both laugh at that. 

Clarke takes another bite of her food and then looks at Bellamy, studying him for a moment. “What?” He asks. 

“When’s the first time you saw me as more than just the princess from the Arc?” 

Bellamy blushes a little, which earns a small smile from Clarke: pleased with herself for getting him to crack. “Umm, do you remember when we took that trip to the bunker you thought might be a good shelter for everyone?”

“And it turned out to be a flooded grave, yeah I remember.” Clarke pulls her eyebrows together in confusion, waiting for him to continue. 

“We found those barrels of guns, and I remember handing you one, thinking you were gonna be too scared to even hold it, but then you handled it like a pro and shot right at the target.” He takes a moment and smiles, looking down at his hands. “I thought to myself: this girl’s actually a badass. Not to mention you looked hot as hell with that gun.” He looks back up to Clarke and smiles, she has her elbow on the counter with her head resting in her hand, and she smiles back at him fondly. 

“That was a long time ago.” She states clearly. 

“Yeah, well, you could say I’ve cared about you for a long time Clarke.” He replies. 

Clarke sits up straighter and leans toward him, reaching a hand up to pull him closer to her, and then kisses him. “Thank you.” She says quietly after they pull away. 

“For what?” Bellamy breathes out. 

“For always being there for me, no matter what.” They both smile before Clarke speaks up again. “I’m gonna go do some studying in the medical room, why don’t you start trying to fix up that radio?”

Bellamy nods, “You got it Princess.” 

 

***

 

After about 30 minutes of looking through old medical files and trying to build on the knowledge she’s learned from her mom Clarke’s brain hurts; she remembers she wanted to take a shower sometime today, so she decides to use the alone time to clean up and try and relax a little bit. She puts all the papers back where she found them and makes her way back to the bedroom upstairs with the bathroom attached. 

She finds a fluffy towel in one of the cabinets as well as some shampoo and body wash. The smell of them reminds her of the cookies she used to get as treats every once and a while when she was a child. She wonders to herself if the factory station got to have treats like that. 

She lays her towel on the chair next to the shower and slowly turns the water on, trying to get the perfect temperature. After she’s satisfied with the heat, she strips her shirt off, and then lays it down on the counter. For the first time she realizes how dirty her clothes were as she compares them to the other linens in the bathroom. She’ll have to do some searching for some cleaner clothes after her shower. She opens the glass door to the shower and steps in, taking a deep breath as she feels the warm water run over her skin. 

A thought crosses her mind, thinking of a way she could relax even more. She hasn’t had sex in a long time, and there hasn’t been anywhere private enough to do the deed herself in a long time. She slowly moves her hands down her body, taking full advantage of the time she’s been given, not to mention the shower with warm water. For a moment she prays this isn’t a dream.

 

***

 

As Bellamy fiddles with the radio, he realizes one of the wires connected to the battery is fried. He makes his way to a room he saw as he and Clarke were leaving the medical room the other night. He pushes open the wooden door and smiles when he sees all the mechanical parts scattered throughout the room. “You really thought of everything didn’t you Ally.” He says to himself as he explores his surroundings. 

He starts opening different drawers looking for the wire he needs when he comes across an electronic he recognizes immediately. “No way…” He says quietly as he picks up the old iPod, earbuds still wrapped around the old piece of metal. He’s only seen pictures of these, but fiddles with it to see if it has any battery left. It won’t turn on, so he searches the same drawer he found it in for a charger. 

He pulls out something that looks like it might fit, and tries to plug it into the iPod. He lets out a laugh when it fits perfectly. He then finds an outlet to plug the device into, giddy with excitement as he waits for it to charge. In the meantime he continues looking for the wire he needs for the radio. 

Eventually he finds what he needs, and it takes him less than 20 minutes to fix the radio up. He’ll wait for Clarke to search for signals, so they can both be there if he gets in touch with anyone. For now he goes back to the iPod and feels like a child getting a new toy as he turns it on and tries to figure out how to use it. He puts the earbuds in his ears and starts listening to one of the old albums in the library. He brings the radio back down to the kitchen and then makes his way up the stairs to use the bathroom.

Bellamy continues to jam out to the music when he enters the bedroom upstairs, and then the joined bathroom. As soon as he opens the door, steam rushes through the opening, and he almost drops the iPod when he sees the blonde in the shower, the steam leaving a blurry outline of her naked body through the glass door. 

“Shit, sorry.” He blurts out as he turns to leave the room, pulling out his earbuds and pausing the music. 

“Wait, Bellamy.” He hears Clarke say slowly behind him. His heart starts to pound as he turns back around. Clarke holds a towel under her chin that she grabbed instinctively when the door was open, but it barely covers the front of her body. Clarke takes in a shaky breath, her body not as confident as her mind in this moment. But she can see his dilated pupils from a mile away, and she realizes she shouldn’t be scared. 

She smiles seductively as she reaches out a hand toward him. “Join me?”

Bellamy takes a step toward the shower and takes Clarke’s hand, his jaw hanging as he takes in the sight in front of him. He doesn’t even think of undressing as he steps his bare feet into the shower one by one, Clarke pulling him closer with her grip. She releases her hand only to reach up and takes his chin in her grip, pulling his face down to her level before slowly placing her lips on his. Clarke pulls away after a few seconds but Bellamy leans in for more, not ready to break the kiss. But when he opens his eyes, Clarke is pulling the towel from her body, dropping it onto the bathroom floor. 

“Fuck, you’re so beautiful” Bellamy says before grabbing the sides of her face and going back in for another kiss. 

Clarke moves her hands down Bellamy’s chest, and slowly finds the hem of his shirt before moving her hands underneath the fabric, then moving them up his bare chest pulling the t-shirt up with her hands. “Take this off.” She breathes out, and Bellamy obeys, throwing the soaked shirt out of the shower. Clarke’s hands make their way down to the elastic of the sweatpants Bellamy had found in one of the drawers in the house, pushing them down as she kisses down his abs. Even with her eyes closed she can feel his gaze on her, and it gives her a surge of confidence. He finally kicks off the pants and they’re both left completely naked in the shower. Clarke stands back up and reaches up to run her hand through his curls.

“You sure about this?” Bellamy whispers with his forehead resting against hers. 

“Yes… please… I need you.” She breathes out. Bellamy doesn’t need to hear any more; he slams his lips into hers and the kiss is explosive. He runs his tongue against her lips asking permission to enter, and she surrenders as this kiss deepens. 

His mouth leaves hers after a moment, and she whimpers at the loss, only to throw her head back when he moves his lips just bellow her jaw, somehow knowing exactly where her sweet spot is. “Bellamy” She moans. “What is it princess, tell me what you want” Bellamy whispers in her ear. 

Clarke looks directly into Bellamy’s eyes “Fuck me.” 

As soon as Bellamy hears the words Clarke is being spun around by strong hands. She can feel him on her back as Bellamy plays with her ear with his tongue. His hands slowly move up her body, eventually finding her breasts. He plays with her nipples before his right hand slowly makes it’s way down to her folds, running a finger through them slowly. While his left hand continues to massage her breast, he starts rubbing circles over her clit, and she throws her head back moaning. Her hands reach up behind her and instinctively find Bellamy’s curls. 

When she starts to feel her legs get weak, Clarke spins around to kiss the man behind her. Her eyes are closed, so when Bellamy picks her up and slams her into the wall behind her she yelps in excitement. “You ok?” Bellamy breathes out, their noses touching. “Yeah.” Clarke nods and smiles a little. “I love you.” 

“God I love you” Bellamy says blissfully, before lining up at her entrance and pushing in, stalling a little, allowing her time to get used to the width. When she nods he starts to move again. The pace is slow at first, his mouth never leaving hers. Clarke’s back arches a little with each thrust. The pace quickens as Bellamy breaks the kiss and rest his forehead in the arch of her neck. He lifts her higher, and with the change in angle Bellamy is able to go deeper, and Clarke moans feeling waves of pleasure wash over her each time he hits the new spot. When Bellamy releases inside her Clarke suddenly reaches her high, moaning loudly as the room spins around her. 

They stay there unmoving for a moment, breathing heavily, before Bellamy pulls out and kisses her once more. He moves her so he’s holding her bridal style, carrying her out of the shower and turning the water off. He makes his way to the main bedroom and lays her down in the bed before climbing in behind her. Clarke turns her head around just enough to smile up at the man who’s stolen her heart, and places a kiss on his cheek before they both pass out.


	8. Chapter 8

The morning brought with it something new, something quiet. There’s a peace about this morning, and Clarke doesn’t know what to think of it. It had been a few weeks since Clarke and Bellamy had first found shelter within the mansion, and the raging storm of radiation outside had finally settled down. By no means was the air free of radiation, and the pair wouldn’t be able to go back outside for years, but at least the fiery storm had passed, leaving behind a sound Clarke wasn’t used to, peace and quiet.

Clarke slowly sat up in the bed, amazed that the only sound she could hear was the sound of the oxygen machines running throughout the house, which was no different than being on the arc. Well, that and the sound of Bellamy lightly snoring beside her. She looks over at him and smiles, and thinks to herself how lucky she was that out of everyone she could have been stuck in this house with, she got her Bellamy. 

The past few weeks had been serene. Sure she and Bellamy had known each other for a while on the ground and had seen each other at their best as well as their worst, but the last few weeks in the house had allowed them the time to discover more intimate details about the other. Clarke loved hearing about Bellamy’s childhood, how he got to grow up with a sister: how it led to good times as well as bad. Clarke told Bellamy all about her dad, and how she started her medical training at such a young age. 

The pair had tried to keep themselves busy during this time. Clarke had been making her way through all the books she could find in the house, while Bellamy almost drove himself mad trying to figure out how he could make the oxygen in the house last them longer. At the rate it was running, the house would only keep them safe for 2 years at most, and the outside air wasn’t expected to be at a safe radiation level for at least 5. They had also been trying to radio out every day for the past couple of weeks, but there was never any replies, only the sound of static replied to their words. 

Today, however, today gave Clarke hope. The fact that she could no longer hear the radiation storm through the walls of the bedroom gave her hope that the radio signal might be able to reach farther today. She was giddy with the thought that she might be able to talk with her mom soon. 

She crawled out of bed slowly, careful not to wake Bellamy as she made her way to the bathroom. She was only wrapped up in a blanket, her clothes thrown across the floor from the night before. She and Bellamy could barely keep their hands off each other since the night in the shower a couple of weeks ago. She smiled as she reached down to pick up the clothes. 

As she creaked open the door to the bathroom, Bellamy stirred, waking up and turning his head to look at Clarke. 

“Good morning” Bellamy mumbled with a small smile on his face. “Where are you going?”

“Just to the bathroom, I’ll be back in a sec,” Clarke mumbled back, still waking up. 

As Clarke shut the door, Bellamy sat up in the bed and furrowed his eyebrows as he realized the same thing Clarke had moments before. Something was different. It was quiet. 

Bellamy got up and put on some clothes before heading downstairs to peak out the only little hole leading to the outside world: the small peephole on the front door. Bellamy assumed it was made out of some type of bulletproof or radiation-proof glass since it had not shattered during the storm. All the other windows in the house had been covered with metal plates, locking the house down. When he peeked through the hole he was surprised at what he saw. He could actually see the earth. It was covered with a white powder that almost had a tint of orange to it; it looked nothing like the green planet they had landed on several months before. But there was good news: he could actually see the ground. There was no radiation fire in the wind blocking his view. The storm was finally over. 

“Only 4 years and 11 months to go,” Bellamy said quietly to himself. 

As he was turning to walk back up to the bedroom, he heard a voice from the kitchen, a man’s voice. 

“What the hell.” The thought somehow escaped his lips as he walked cautiously to the kitchen. 

As he got closer he could hear static in between the words that the voice spoke, and relief flooded over him when he realized the radio was actually working. There was actually someone making contact with them. Bellamy picked up his pace and closed the gap between him and the radio, picking up the mic and pressing down the button. 

“This is Bellamy Blake, we’re on the ground, who is this?”

“Bel ak yo mothe fucker how the hell are you alive?”

“Murphy?” Bellamy asks half laughing. “Oh my god is everyone ok up there?”

“We're all doing great, except for this gross shit Monty is making us eat.” They both laugh as Bellamy’s vision starts to blur from tears fighting to escape. “Man I thought you were for sure dead, how’s Clarke did she make it?”

“Yeah, she’s great man, were both fine, have you made contact with the bunker?” Bellamy asks, a hopeful tone in his voice.

“We’ve been trying to since we got up here, it’s been silent,” Murphy speaks the last part carefully, knowing Bellamy’s worried about Octavia.

Bellamy’s head drops as he processes what this could mean. “That’s ok, it’s probably fine. They’re underground, the radio signal is weak, they’re probably trying to contact you guys too.” 

“Yeah, you’re probably right…” Murphy says, knowing that no matter what he believes, Bellamy needed to hear him say it. 

“Is that Murphy?” Bellamy turns around to see Clarke standing at the entrance to the kitchen, complete disbelief on her face. Bellamy smiles and nods his head. Clarke paces over to the radio and Bellamy hands over the handpiece. “Hey…” She breathes out into the speaker, “This is Clarke, how are you guys?” 

“Clarke?!” Raven’s voice suddenly makes its way through the radio. “I’m so happy to hear your voice. I can’t tell you how sorry I am for leaving you on the ground.”

“It’s ok Raven, you did what you had to do.” Clarke pauses before “And, I had Bellamy, and were both fine.” She smiles and looks up at Bellamy. 

“I’m glad to hear it… I know we haven’t made contact with the bunker, but Abby and Octavia are probably thriving, like Bellamy said, it’s probably just a weak signal since they’re underground.” Raven explains to Clarke. 

Clarke nods her head, even though she knows Raven can’t see her. Bellamy takes back the handpiece. “We know you’re trying your best Raven, just keep focusing on surviving up there.”

“Will do,” Raven replies. “radio me if you guys need anything, it’s not like I have much to do up here,” she jokes.

Clarke and Bellamy smile before Bellamy replies, “Will do, and keep Murphy out of trouble ok.”

“I heard that you little shit.” Murphy yells from the background before Raven can say, “I’ll try my best, but he’s a handful.” 

Bellamy laughs again before they say goodbye, and set the radio to the side.

“It’s good to know they’re doing well,” Clarke says softly before Bellamy brings his hand up to turn her face toward his. “Thank god I didn’t get on that rocket.” He smiles, and she shakes her head in disapproval. “That was a stupid thing to do, but secretly, I’m glad you didn’t either,” Clarke said with a smile, and then closed the space between their lips.

 

***

 

As the afternoon rolled around, Clarke busied herself sketching with some paper and pencils she found tucked away in a corner of the house, and Bellamy lounged on the couch in the house’s library reading an old book. As he finishes up a chapter, he closes the cover of the book and looks over to Clarke. 

“This will never not feel weird, just sitting around, not having to worry about someone wanting to kill us.” He thinks out loud. 

Clarke looks up from her drawing and sends him an understanding look before saying, “Sometimes I wonder how I’m gonna survive in here for five years.”

“We might not,” Bellamy replies, “the house isn’t gonna last that long. Every day I’ve been racking my brain for how to fix the problem, but, it feels like we’re just counting down the days we have left.”

“We have nightblood, when the house shuts down we’ll just take our chances and go outside, we’ll probably be fine,” Clarke replies hopeful, but Bellamy just shakes his head.

“I almost lost you once, there’s gotta be a better solution than just taking our chances.” He says firmly. 

“Well, for now, let's just enjoy this time together, ok. I haven’t had time to draw in months; I’m very much enjoying the peace and quiet around here, and, the alone time with you. I thought that was something we’d never get.” Clarke replies, laughing at that last part.

Bellamy nods his head, “I know.” But in the back of his mind, his thoughts don’t leave the fact that in a little over a year they might both be dead if he doesn’t figure out a solution to their problem. 

“Stop worrying about it right now, I can always tell when you get inside your own head,” Clarke tells him, worried. “You’re just gonna kill yourself over the fact that there’s a problem neither one of us can fix. There is a solution: we have nightblood, we survived the death wave, and now that the storm is over, I bet we can survive the levels of radiation outside.”  
Bellamy closes his eyes, “I want to believe you, I do, but… what if you’re wrong.”

Clarke speaks up, more firm now, “Then we continue searching for another solution. But if there isn’t one, don’t kill yourself over it ok. We can radio Raven again tomorrow to see if she has any idea how to make it last longer.” 

Bellamy stays silent, accepting her solution, for now. 

There’s a moment before Clarke speaks again, “But, speaking of how there’s no fight to fight anymore, do you think we're different now, now that we're just… here? We worked so well together as leaders, but… now there’s no one to lead.”

Bellamy gets up and walks over to Clarke, taking her hand in his so she’s standing up as well. “I’m always going to be fighting for you, and you’re always going to be telling me what to do.” Clarke smiles before he continues, “So no, nothing will ever change about us.” 

Clarke takes Bellamy into a hug, and they stand there for a moment. “I love you.” She says to him, and he takes a breath before replying, “I love you too, always have always will.”


End file.
